My friend JonnyBarrett's girlfriend thinks he's not a great listener. So, he went on a quest to deepen his listening skills. Watch or read the advice I gave him.

Set an Intention

One key way to deepen empathetic listening is to set an intention to listen when you're in a conversation. This helps to pave the way to implement the following practices.

Silence is Your Friend

Be silent when you're listening. This allows you to do the physiological part of listening, which is hearing. Not only will you hear what is said, but you can hear what is unsaid by picking up on the tone and pitch of their speech and the pace of their breathing.

When you're silent you can also tap into your other senses to gather additional information, like how physically comfortable someone is. Are they fidgeting, shifting, or relaxed?

Get Curious to Understand

Let all of this information guide you to be curious. Ask "How" and "Why" questions to guide the conversation deeper.

Empathetic, active, or deep listening allows you to build strong connections and deepen relationships.

What's In It For Them?

Value. When you're deep listening and learning more about someone or something be considerate about your contribution to the conversation. It can help to express how much you are listening.

Being comfortable with silence allows you to refrain from filling the silence with random banter, comments, or things that are not of value to the person or topic at hand.

Improving your relationship with silence allows you to pause and internally ask yourself, "What value am I imparting?"

Go Deep with EQ

Amping up your emotional intelligence (EQ) is a crucial aspect of empathetic listening. It helps to deepen bonds, deepen connections.

Empathetic listening fulfills the need to be heard and seen, which is an important aspect of being human.

Leaders Listen

For leaders, empathetic listening helps to build better relationships and partnerships. It helps sustain connection through negotiations, providing feedback, or having difficult conversations.

Additionally, if you're leading a team listening supports you in the same way. It improves team engagement and helps to create a psychologically safe environment.

Universal Impact

You can use all of these tips in your personal life like Jonny will be doing with his girlfriend. Listening is a great way to be a human on this planet.

Turn Inward

Don't forget about yourself. Take all of these tips and turn them inward to listen to yourself.

Gather the insights from your personal listening journey and take action to increase your fulfillment.

I hope this was helpful.

Marsha